Archive for the ‘family’ Category

Toxic families are poinson for everyone.  The poison goes from one generation to another.  I often wonder why my mother did not put me up for adoption.  I know the answer; her narcissism made her have me.  She had an abortion less than a year prior to becoming pregnant with me. 

I am thankful for life; however, the pain she inflected on me was cruel.  As a mother, I don’t understand how a mother could do that to her own child.   She is a sick woman, and I pray for her.  She has missed out on so much.  Even if she someday saw the pain she has caused and wanted to change, I could not allow her back into my life.  I would not know if it was sincere, but I doubt that day will ever happen.  I was the one who always tried to have a connection, not her.

A family are the people who care about you.  I have been blessed to have someone who stood by me through the years, and she taught me how to be a mom.  She is about four hours away, and she came for my daughter’s birthday this weekend.  We had what some would call bonding moments.  We talked about the past and how I kept on reaching for my mom, but in reality it was my brother who committed suicide in 1992.   I never realized the wisdom she had, and how much she truly loves and cares for me.  She is an amazing woman!


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